isnt life wonderful? you get sore-throats, but no damn cold. what a rip off. you only sound like an idiot, but you have nothing to back it up. nature is unfair at times.
alright, let me break it down for you...you go shopping and for some reason you find yourself in a sports store of some sort, i don't know.....footlocker maybe? ....but yeah, you're in a footlocker and you think to yourself, you know what, i really need a white-with-green-stripe generic footlocker brand headband for the times i play tennis with dan (tall dan?) (your friend from the 70s, who never really left the 70s and somehow grew a white-man-afro). so you pick one up and examine the packaging, you fiddle with the soft plastic wrapping, and wonder how it got in there since its a sealed package!! you step up to the counter and you say, 'hi, could i open this neat headband. i just want to make sure it fits?' and the cashier, who is excessively attractive and should be out working the runways, not milling about in a shoe store counting cash all day, turns to you and politely tells you that its ONE SIZE FITS ALL. So since you know nothing about sizing you decide that she must be right, that this one headband if produced in the millions, could satisfy the hungering headband masses of the world. damn, the ENTIRE POPULATION OF THE WORLD could be accessorised as hip as you. so you pay her and you leave, with your small headband in tow.....on your way out of the mall you call up Dan to let him know of this stellar headband and you both get excited and giggly like those damn Villa Maria girls on the metro....i know im hot, but im like 23 and i didnt wink at you you little tramp. so, you set up a tennis match at 4pm that day, and you're totally psyched cause you'll be able to sport that ONE SIZE FITS all headband. you get home and you rush to the door like you have to pee, but really its the excitement of being able to stretch open that plastic wrap and be able to hold that glorious headband in your soft but ample fingers. the (da) tension rises as you make your way up to you room and you close the door and you turn the blinds down and the lamp on and you sit yourself down on the bed.....your heart pumps faster and your fingers shake as you slowly pull the plastic off of the headband. the smell, the aroma of the new '98% cotton 2% rubber, exclusive of decoration' is enticing....finally you let he plastic fall to the floor and you get your hands on the headband.....amazing that one such small thing could get you more excited than thoughts of clam chowder, what a wonderous thing. without taking your eyes of the prize in your hands you make you way to the mirror and you seat yourself in your sexiest tennis position... and you raise the headband and stretch it out and slide it onto your head...you wet yourself a little......and then just as if someone pulled away your plate of saved-till-the-end-bacon......the pleasure is drained away. the damn thing doesnt fit. the girl at the counter lied to you. you trusted her. you look into the mirror, and where once a tennis-pimp looked back, sits now a fool, a tennis-fool. ONE SIZE FITS ALL or OSFA if you prefer, what a scam that is,and you fell for it. you're a sucker, NO, a sucka. get out of my face sucka-man.
MY QUESTION TO YOU ALL IS, why do they have these ONE SIZE FITS ALL (une grandeur fits tout) products? they dont really help anyone. they confuse and mislead the clientelle. do they not? and then, if the companies are so adamant about having these items available, why dont other companies adopt similar ideas and incorporate them into their own products? why does there not exist a 52 inch widescreen ONE SIZE FITS ALL television or why dont we have OSFA running shoes? ill tell you why, because everyone has different size houses and living rooms, and all our feet are different sizes and and because OSFA products are stupid. why does that make other body parts different, the last time i checked, we all have heads of varying sizes, hands too. a small side not...if i sewed together two headbands, would that make it TWO SIZE FITS ALL? MORE THAN ALL? DOUBLE ALL? interesting quandry. i will now retire to the toilet room and ponder the above.