fantastic that you should find yourself here. im here, you're here. please feel free to 'perooze' this here stuff. its full of fantat. check it out. and i hope afterwards, you realize, that, ive touched you deep in your heart. and that ive touched your moms, deep in their pants.

10.29.2004

i burnt my finger on toasted yams

alright

ill spit this now, while the rhymez is still fresh (prince of bel-air?)

it seems that there is a new fad in town, maybe not so new. i call it 'lusts of the windy tunnel' or more simply 'metro station love affairs'. what be thems? ill tell you.

now, its common knowledge, that parents of kids, dont utilise the montreal metro rail system of transportation. every adult that rides the blue is a non-parental-unit (NPU). why does this matter? it matters because it seems that metro stations are becoming the new hotspots to take your date. typically, to take your indian, sri lankan or any other insane-parent-inclined race date. how do you know if you qualify for this group? has your head ever been target practice for a parents slipper? remote control? wooden spoon? if yes to any and/or all of the above, then you qualify. you qualify automatically if you smell like curry 355 days out of the year.

however. today was a particularly good day it seemed. i saw two couples schmoozing in the dark halls of snowdown metro...oblivious to the surrounding traffice. all in all, i suppose it works out well for the garcon. doesnt need a car, or much money and the depanneur (7-11 type thing) is right there, so dinner isnt hard either. you have ambience, mood, and an all over romantic atmosphere. so why am i berating these half-mongers? this could actually work. no? hellz yeah.

the dates consist mostly of the male feature of the relationship, standing up against the wall, with the girl gently pressed up 'gainst him. its a tender moment filled with wishful kisses, warm-pressed hugs.... made even more special by the random psychos that traverse the underworld of montreal, and the cold, genetalia shrinking rush of the metro monster.

but hey, they are hiding it from their parents, and that counts for a lot. its the hard path to a normal, well founded, healthy child-loving marriage.

'hey little girl. whats your name?'
'sanmuganathanpreet'
'really? thats pretty. where were you born?'
'vendome metro. direction cote-vertu.'

nice life.

secondly. and this more personal than anything else. and many can vouch that this is something that grated against my very being for many many episodes of star trek the next generation. is there are general need in society to stare at me? why is it that once i get on metro car, go into a store, walk down the street....that ppl have to stare! is there something on my face? i mean, there WAS....your mom was firmly planted there the previous soiree....but i washed since then. so what is it? i take much care to wash my face of any debris-be it food or cats. there isnt much more that i can say on the issue, cause hey....what can i really do? only YOU can stop this madness. by all means look if you like...i shouldnt be the only person enjoying this mug in the mirror. but, if you're going to stare at least let me know why.

'shal, you're hot'
'shal, is that bacon?'
'shal, you're in the way of that hot girl behind you, and i think that i might make out with her right now' <----trust me i wont complain when there's some good girl-on-girl going on.

done, finished, said.

le 'kizzool' shal (hardcore gangsta murda rap extraordinaire)

10.26.2004

paint yourself in orange, ill light you with the blue match

quick post. mostly out of frustration and awe of society today. its amazing how some ppl survive in the world today.

this post grew out of my lunchtime convo today. as i sat caressing some cannelloni today in the very hip-stylin' cafeteria, i was caught up in a discussion with a member of my training group. apparently, if you're educated, and a good student etc....you cant have good social aptitude. is that right? did i miss something? Johnny Arguement wouldnt hear anything to the contrary. i felt like he needed a punch. not from me, but perhaps a larger man, with hairy knuckles.....braided hairy knuckles perhaps? ew. anyways. i think that ppl who decide to argue a point should have the correct terminology, language and syntax prepared. it turned out that the gentle-idiot meant (or probably changed his mind due to the fact that he was losing the arguement) that someone who is well educated does not have the same 'street smarts' as someone who isnt as educated. he said something to the effect of 'someone who has straight A's wouldnt know where to get some weed'. wow. (drugs are bad, ask your mom, who does your dad). are 'street-smarts' the same thing as having a good social life? i didnt think so. then after i decided that i wanted to leave the table (i was done eating, and i have this thing where i dont like sitting around a dinner table after im done eating) he pestered me with his arguement until i drilled my nose into a book. then after, later in the day...he proceeded to ask me if my arguement to his position was based on some personal issue?

what the @#$@? who does that? please let me know.

so the moral of the story is: 'if you want some drugs....dont go to school'

idiots.

p.s. what kind of pasta has no friends?

p.p.s. cannel-LONELY

10.24.2004

the flower is pretty. i smushed all the snails.

where up?

you know, ppl tell me 'shal, you're too hard on ppl' and they may be right. however, i find that some ppl require my being hard on them. or, i wouldnt be so hard on these ppl is these ppl weren't so stupid. we'll take last night as an example.

it was dark, slightly purple-tinted, outside. the downtown was busy. so me and a chuck decided to go see a filum. before which we were going to eat. so we strolled to the local fast food joint, in hopes to pound down a quick, $4.99 + applicable taxes, eat. enter the idiot. this retard walks straight up to the counter and asks in a thick gangster-accent.....'hi, hello, you gat fish?' all in one smooth phrase. no time for a reply of salutation, nothing. then after a no-go on the fish he proceeded to ask her where the closest competition joint is. i was thankful when billy bass left...but that wasnt the last time i saw him. oh no. so i mean, who does that? where is tact these days? do ppl not have it? we'll get into this further.

your turn. after slapping down $10.50 and then another $8.50 for snacks and beverages, you figure that you're going to enjoy the solidly-reviewed feature you've been so gayly happy to see. so you sit down in your carefully selected seat.....and the lights dim. you're excite. your buddy's excite. the coming attractions start up. you lean over and in small whispers, you tell you friend that later tonight, you'll be the 'coming attraction'. it earns you a mild snicker. you're satisfied with yourself (and you should be, that was stellar commentary right there). you slip into the little butt-groove you've made for yourself, ready the snacks and focus on the marvel unfolding in front of you.

you're about an hour in, and its good. the flick is wicked. however, billy bass is sitting behind you. and he decides that this is the time to put in his two cents. those cents include variety of 'BOOYA's.....BIGGUP's......OHNO's......RUFF STYLES GUY....etc etc.' its amazing that this guy doesnt have his own show. his commentary is obviously golden. do ppl actually think that them saying things to the screen, or cheering the hero on, is actually going to change or influence the course of them film? do you want to go home and be able to say 'hey ma. yeah, i dun help dat guy save da world, ma.' shut up. we dont need to hear it. then again, this fellow was cool. he did after all have his entourage of a 'only-acceptable-as-a-gangster-cause-he's-associated-with-a-gangster-white-boy-in-an-oversized-hoodie' and, his hoochie, who incidently, is about 4 feet tall. (does that matter?).

but really. when this guy goes home....is he satisfied with his night? i mean what were his accomplishments? does he go to bed happy? 'yeah man, i really was cool in that theatre. didnt get no fish. but you cant win them all.....guy'.

so where does this end? will he (and ppl like him) realize that they are the subject for mass emails? that ppl like him are complete jokes? i dunno. maybe i should give a course on it.

shals program for the gangster inclined
session 1: tact
session 2: dress
session 3: you're not snoop or eminem
session 4: reformed students speak out.

sign up.

one more thing. is sky captain the captain of the ENTIRE sky? or like is there a limit?