fantastic that you should find yourself here. im here, you're here. please feel free to 'perooze' this here stuff. its full of fantat. check it out. and i hope afterwards, you realize, that, ive touched you deep in your heart. and that ive touched your moms, deep in their pants.


g-units, exit left.


you know what this world needs? educated ppl. im not talking about phd's and Bsc's. I'm talking about the general 'what to be like when im not inside the small confines of my bedroom' kind of education. Pee-Wee Herman, obviously didnt educate himself in this department, and look where that got him.

so yes i suppose you feel a story coming on? well yes there is one. i suppose falls right up there with the likes of Billy Bass and his yelling at the movie hero antics. in the night of the last, a few of my friends and myself include, decided that we would make the pleasures and go see The Tea Party at our local television-music-station. so we did, and it was all of the fantat and more. lights were flashing in my eyes and im certain i made it onto your tv. anyhow, after said event we decided to walk the small mile to the concert hall and see them on stage, once again. This was an event of mammoth-excellence. let me tell you, they put on a show. a show without the grandeur of pyrotechnics and saucy midgets running amok. no, it was a fantat show filled with loud music, excellent music at that, an electric crowd and five balding italians not understanding that 4 inches is not enough personal space for me and my friends.

NOW! dont bitch. i understand that its a concert and there will undoubtedbly be more than 4 random boobs and select male-units being pressed up against me in the throes of musical extacy. however, the events i talk about surround the hours pre-concert.

these were of the balding+1 non-balding persuasion. totalling 5. plus a couple of the female gender. which was entirely surprising. but, to each his/her own. so. there we were, grabbing any space we could, to get up as close as we could, and finally we found a good spot from where we could enjoy the splendors of the stage. and with creeping horror we found that we had once again fallen into the traps that i now call 'Retard(s) In Proximity Syndrome' or 'RIPS'. what is this you ask? well. ever since we (if we were all toys, WE would be me in action figure form, and my friend who would be my accessories or attachments. that would be awesome.) have been free to roam the movie theaters, concert halls and peep show studios; we have always been subject to the idiot, seated or standed behind us. the ones who whisper retardedness, YELL AT THE MOVIE HERO, throw in their two cents, or in this case decide to wrestle with the girls in their group and bump up against us with their awkward rear-ends. are these good ideas? not really? why? because they irritate the general crowd. by all means, during the music portion throw yourself into me no-holds-barred. i care not. because at that point i expect it, and will most likely return the favour. but please, before such a time arrives, keep your grubby hands, sausagey arms, balding head with tender fuzz, pudgy body, and pillow-like lower body to yourself. yourself, and your compatriots.....since flicking of ears and patting and other awkward touching was apparently a fun group activity that was enjoyed among these ppl.

personally, i dont go for such things.

its a shame that such good groups have such ugly fanbases.



the pages of my life are filled with dirty pictures

fortunate for you. i am here.

alright, so ive plagued your faces with complaints of the people i attend the workplace with. and yet again here is another one. you may find these incidents hilarious, and yes they do provide for more blogs from yours truly....but i have to live these things! its not fun. ever rip a coke can into a halfs and then decide to cut yourself with the sharps corners? yes? then decide you to pour hot water into the cuts? yes? then you have a small ideas of what i go through each day with the constant idiocy of my work group. how can someone who has a job at a certain place, NOT know about the work he has to do? how much can one person NOT stay still for more than thirty seconds? how loud can one person be on the phone? how much can one person show she knows about the work she is doing and look for praise when already she has been working there for 6 minus 1 years? how much can one person use FULL SENTENCE answers when asked simple questions like how said persons night was? its incredible.

yes, these are the likes of which i work with. granted, most of these are crappy complaints. too bad. im with them 8 hours a day 5 days a week.

alrighty. now that thats out. over the last month, i have seen a jumble'een of trainers. people paid to show you how to run certain things, speak to certain people, use certain applications. and so far, they have all been quite of excellent. and now, we have the idiot. i should have expected her.

is it awesome that this mom comes to work with attempts to maintain professionalism, only to throw it out the window as soon as she is greeted by a 'hey, whats up'? no, its not. its also not cool to be educated, for WORK, by someone who has 'cool, hip-hop stylin'. someone who's primary concern in the morning is 'what kind of car we would drive, if we could have any kind, and then decides that, Hey, you watch too much Pimp My Ride' Yes. these people think its a good idea to waste 20 minutes of time that i could be using to sleep, to discuss what car i would like to have, or what person in the world i wish i could be for a day. yes, this is a large company, and no its not a daycare.

maybe we should try to do out job at work, and leave the MC Hammer for the bars and leave the kiddie-talk for your kids.




its magic. i love it.

in the busy commute we all make in the early morning to the late night, there is much time for nothing. from the quick run the to local grocers, to the long ride from downtown. what the majority of us need is a buffer, to protect us against boredom and the randomness of run-ins while we ride the ride. for some of us its a book, for others its a friend willing to traverse the city alongside us. for me its my handy music-making-machine or MMM. sometimes ppl will say 'look, there's shal and his MMM'

so what am i getting at? we're going to dissect the significance of the headphone-however this does apply to the world outside of busses and subways and tram cars...the concept remains the same regardless.

now. my metro destination is 3 stops from where i board the magic blue phallus. and in a total, thats about 20 minutes from apt. door to workplace door. in music time, thats NOTHING. its MAYBE 4 songs. so, being the audiophile that i am, i need to squeeze out every last luscious-note that time will permit. its a strong disappointment if something gets in the way of my music time. VERY strong. and that is only when it concerns the fact that i want my ears pleased. simply said....significance 1: the love of music.

there's more.

significance 2's story. this one is kind of a melange of sig. 1 and what will become significance 2. impossible you say? shut it. im at work, and finally the time has come, and we're on break. i can pull out my trusty portaPro koss headphones, complete with comfortZone adjustable earpads, and wrap them around my face....only to indulge in the orgasmic guitars and humpable drum beats that the MMM provides. so, im about 28 seconds into the song that has been running around my head all morning, and then i hear a little nagging voice calling my name. my eyes roll under my eyelids and my heart churns the hatred that this man is so deserving of. when headphones are on, it is basic human courtesy to leave the person alone. there are the obvious instances when the 'walkmaned' person makes the first move to initiate conversation, or you're in dire need of something that better be much more than a shoe-buffing, but at most all other times...refer to the above human courtesy. so there you see how this little tale was a mix of 1 and 2. and significance 2 is, simply said: the desire for temporary isolation.

maybe there are more significances for the headphones. id rather not look past the aforementioned. it makes life simpler and it sorts out the confusion that some ppl have. namely idiots who bother non-idiots when the non-idiots are being pleased aurally. im more than happy to chat with you, but then there are the many who drive me to such extents as to scotch-taping 18" woofers to my head. if you're reading this, you're not of the latter group.

music is good. it could get you sexed. many-a-time. love it, nuture it, send me cake.

shal (loves being pleased aurally)